11th February 2025.
Via Ifeanyi Calistus
Love is one of the most misunderstood, confusing, and complicated aspects of relationships. Many people have been misled by it. Before getting married, pay less attention to love and more attention to the person you want to marry, while also considering your level of commitment.
Love before marriage often weakens people, making them complacent about doing the right things before saying “I do.” Many men and women lack the willpower to walk away when they notice undesirable behaviors in their partners. Instead, they hold on, believing that “love is blind” or that “love covers a multitude of sins.”
However, the scales fall from their eyes just a month after the wedding. Love does not change a bad person.
The right approach should be: “Marry, love, and build commitment to sustain the marriage”—not “Love and marry.”
calistus.
Unfortunately, the reverse is the case in our time, which is why marital problems are rampant. Our fathers married first, then learned to love and remained committed to their marriages. This is why they had fewer broken homes than we have today. Nowadays, we dismiss their ways as “old-fashioned.” We claim to be more civilized, embracing Western ideals while rejecting the wisdom of our forefathers. The result? An unprecedented rise in divorce rates and alarming levels of domestic violence.
In my opinion, love before marriage is a gamble—and marriage is too important to be gambled with. The same people who professed undying and electrifying love before marriage often end up destroying each other just months after the wedding. Is that really love?
What sustains a marriage is commitment, not love.
Ifeanyi Calistus
